Later, much later, I huddled over a mug of ale and pondered the events of the day.
After initially welcoming me into the Ministry of Human Preservation, Queen Phaedra dismissed us with an invitation to attend her in two days. We were not allowed to stay in the palace until then--a decision I rested on Seymuhr's broad, uncouth shoulders--but given enough coin to afford a respectable inn nearby.
I had a long, hot, luxuriant bath that eased the final pains of our recent travels and scoured my hair enough to make it look somewhat reasonable. I found a new set of clothes waiting for me: perfectly tailored pants made of a soft, yet durable gray material, a shirt that hung well in all the right places--it was not too tight around my bosom, or loose around my waist--as well as a sturdy pair of boots. There was even a traveling cloak, lined with pockets. I felt, for the first time in my life, like I belonged somewhere. Was this my destiny, then? Did that account for my new bearing?
Broo Fang Tane appeared in the doorway, similarly cleaned and also wearing new clothes, although the change in his appearance was not as drastic as mine. He had no hair to wrangle, not even a bear to trim and his monk's robes were simple. The cloth that draped his lithe frame looked much finer than the coarse, nearly threadbare robes that he had worn throughout our recent adventures. He sat across from me and beamed, smelling of lavender.
"A new pair of boots can change the way you look at the world, and the way the world looks at you," I said.
He nodded. "Foot...wear is...the...foun...da...……….tion of any journey," he agreed. He stretched, his fingers clasped together over his head. "My...."
But he did not have the chance to finish that sentence. The door opened and a large man with a bristling beard walked in. His dark eyes scanned the room and lit up when they found Tane, who was facing away from the doorway. A mischievous smile crossed his face and he stomped toward us, already chuckling. Conversation around us trailed off. More than a few people turned to see what would happen next.
"Welllllll, what do we have here?" The man's voice was deep and rough; he sounded like a hound warning a rival away from a bone.
"Two travelers, staying here at the queen's request," I answered, hoping to avoid any violence. I glanced around the room, but saw no one who looked eager--or even willing--to help.
He crossed his arms. "Is that right?"
"It is. My friend and I are awaiting her majesty's next summons. It is important work." I stood up and motioned for the big man to lean toward me. "I see mischief in your eyes, good sir, and I will ask you for forbearance," I whispered to him. "My companion means no harm to you nor anyone else--indeed, he is of the Order of Optimists, and lives only to spread good cheer and happy news. That said, he has a bit of a temper..."
"Good...cheer? Happy news?" He threw back his head and laughed, a robust, hearty sound that caught on with some of those watching the spectacle. When he was finally done -- and I suspected, by then, that he wasn't genuinely entertained because the laughter had a strained, pained tone to it -- he exaggerated it, blowing a fetid wind from his mouth directly into my face. "Has he not walked these lands? Talked to anybody? Looked around?"
"Korin is a strange, dangerous and sometimes silly place, but it surely is not as bad as you think it is."
In response, he pressed a finger vertically against one of his nostrils and, with a scowl, emptied the contents of the other onto Tane's head. A few people winced at the wet sound the issue made when it smacked against the monk's scalp; I felt a few droplets against my cheek.
"Bones of Barnok! Why would you do such a thing?!?"
The man was genuinely laughing now. There was nothing exaggerated or pained about it. He pointed at Tane, who pressed his lips together as he looked for a cloth to clean himself with.
"Sorry, friend," the man said, still chuckling. "Let me help you." He cupped his hand and spat into it, then advanced toward Tane, meaning, I thought, to wipe the mess clean.
Broo Fang Tane would have none of that, though, and my heart sank as I heard the faint battle growl grow in his throat. His eyes blazed and he was suddenly on his feet, pivoting to face his tormentor.
"Broo Fang," I said. "Please..."
"Listen to your mother, little man," the other one said. Tane erupted, and I stepped aside, then dove for cover.
Author's note:
Thanks for reading! Admittedly, I don't always put a lot of thought into these entries; they are merely a way for me to: (a) test out a few jokes and make fun of the genre; (b) work on dialogue and scene; (c) develop the world of Korin, where my real fantasy stories take place and (d) appear busy while I eat lunch, so I can avoid human interaction. Feel free to let me leave a comment or critique. I always like to know what works and what doesn't.
